Clothes may make the man. (All a girl needs is a tan?)

Oberlin is a great place. Great restaurants, free music shows, amazing theater, hilarious people. But there are a few things you can't get in town. Principally: clothes.

As Oberlin's my home, and I don't have a car, I haven't gone shopping in a long time.

But yesterday, I went shopping. For serious lady clothes.


Thoughts on Gender:

You know that point in high school, where you figure out your gender role and how much you want to do with it (if anything)? It might involve fixing your hair more often, or buying different clothes? It might mean figuring out how to brand yourself to attract the right kind of significant other. You work out how to flirt best, how to hold yourself, how to dress and act. I never had that.

I didn't really hit puberty until my sophomore year of college. And I've been catching up as best I can. While most people seem to adjust to their gender easily, I think about it.

I'm an aggressive person: blunt, forward and competitive. I like violence, video games, sex and food. I'm physically larger than most of my male friends. I've never had a manicure or a pedicure; I don't own any foundation or blush; I'm not very graceful.

But presenting femme is awesome. It's such a great game. Every morning, when I put on my clothes, I feel such amusement and amazement at the alien-ness of female attire. I shave my pits, groom, exercise, and do everything possible to mitigate the masculinity of my eastern European side. I am a gender ninja.

But while I'm got some mannerisms down, I'm still a bit sketchy on one avenue: clothes. I've figured out how to dress like a girl (cute shirts + jeans! Silly, flouncy dresses and skirts!). But dressing like a woman? A woman with a job but without a family or the presumptions of age?

Common Wisdom on women's workplace garb is weird. Professionalism screams for a de-sexed look, clothes that indicate adulthood, power and prestige. However, *not* acknowledging your gender, is pretty suspect. You want the dress that makes your figure look good, but not bodacious. Class, not ass.

It's hard for me to find that middle ground. Muffling my recent sexuality is as unnatural to me know as dresses were when I was 14. I've worked hard for my positive body image. I want to keep it.

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This is where Brandi and Ali come in.

Brandi and Ali are classy, stylish ladies. Ali can look overwhelmingly great in anything, no matter how odd, and Brandi's just... classy. If class were a person, it'd be Brandi. If style were a person, it'd be Ali. After 4 hours of dancing, Brandi will still look impeccable. They understand being ladies. They get it.

We went to Crocker Park, specifically H+M. And I got schooled.

Ali: "What are we getting?"
Brandi: "Shirts and skirts that you can throw on the floor, stomp on and still look good."
Aries: "... Good thinking."

At H+M, they just found amazing things. It was like an episode of What Not To Wear except without the cruelty of a TV audience. They were clear in what worked, what didn't, what needed a different size and what was just... wrong. Given my weird, hip-heavy body, it was awesome to have professional help.

"Spin... Ass is great. But where's your hips?"
"Yeah. That's a no."
"YES. Yes. My god. Yes."
"That would need tailoring."
"No tailoring could fix that. Oooh. See how the pockets poke out, making your hips look ginormous? That's a problem."
"Buy it."

And it was fun. Ali and Brandi are both hilarious, sassy humans and it was fantastic to spend more time with them. I rarely just chill with folks for several hours at a time, which I need to change. As soon as possible.