Celebrate!

Dearest Friends,

I hope y’all are doing well, and if you’re amongst family, they’re being kind to you. I'm really thankful to know you, and hope you know I'm thinking of you.

My mother is a pretty hardcore Lutheran, while my father was raised atheist, leaving me a mish-mosh version of Christianity. My old scripture book covered Christmas like this:

“Christmas isn’t only celebrating Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, but the birth of every child. Children of all sizes and races and ages, from a few minutes old, to a whole 90 years present. Children of one, two or many parents; children across the world. Let us take this moment to celebrate the God’s birth within us all.”

While I’m not sure how you think about God, or Jesus, or other messiahs, I think it’s a good day to celebrate children, of all ages.


Love, kisses, and best wishes for a new year,
Aries

PS: The dolls in the photo are Norwegian elves. They are not my parents.

Steam Heat

Warning: Very honest, all names changed to protect privacy.

As a child, I was afraid of heat. Hot showers, steam rooms, saunas -- any confined space with steam and near-scalding water made me nauseous. The instant I started to sweat, boiling bile rose from my belly.

It’s different now. Now, I believe in heat. I love running in the summer, I love laying the sun. I enjoy the suffocating humidity of August in New York, I adore the burning of too-hot miso soup. I delight in sweat. I love dancing so furiously that I am coated with sweat; I love embracing a dance partner and sharing that heat. I love feeling my heart race, and the drip of water sliding down my forehead. I love the taste of salt.

What changed, I wondered. I poked at that childhood fear, teased it, tickled it. Why did I feel vertigo on tile floors?

And then, I saw her face. She was a beautiful woman, with oil-black hair, her features handsome, voice proud. She is an artist, and I see her licking her lips, clutching at water, grasping at cold, desperate hope.

Beautiful Norma, the main character in The Midnight Sun, a classic episode of the Twilight Zone.

I had watched Norma die.

Changeling

“I’d like a pizza for three. With, um, pepperoni. And sausage. Italian sausage. Not chicken sausage.” the man says slowly. “Yeah, in a box.”

He looks as if he’s going to cry any second.

I nod, but before putting it in the machine, or stop myself, I blurt out, “Are you alright, sir?”

He bites his lip. “Yeah,” he says.

“Can I get you something to drink, sir? Just for while, you know, while you wait?”

“Um. Not yet?” As he signs the bill, his hands are shaking. He speaks in curt phrases, separated by just-a-half-beat-too-long pauses. He’s sweating profusely.

“No hurry, sir. It’ll be ready in about 15 minutes, sir. Would you like to wait here?”

“No, no. I’ll go and come back. Actually-” His face draws in even more, his eyebrows curling in. “Could you hold it? My wife is at the doctor’s office. I don’t know how long it will take.”

station identification

Name:
Aries Skarveland Indenbaum

Present location:
Adam's apartment, near Case Western Reserve, Cleveland.

Present occupation:
Intern for Network for a New Culture, based out of Arlington, VA. I'm setting up an internship program there, and working a number of communications projects. They're aiming to set up a happier, emotionally healthier world.(*)

Affiliations:
Individuals at Oberlin College; Catholic Worker Community of Cleveland, OH.

Current fascinations:
Cleveland's history and public transit system, dance, music.

Today's plans:
See Adam's concert at 2:00, go to Catholic Worker House to help prepare dinner from West Side Market, go to the Storefront, go back to Oberlin for blues dancing and friends-malingering.

Why?
To explore.


* NFNC seeks to build a sustainable, violence-free culture through exploring intimacy, personal growth, transparency, radical honesty, equality, compassion, sexual freedom, and the power of community.

Twin Oaks Exit Letter

After your stay at Twin Oaks, visitors post an Exit Letter to the O+I board (a message board in the dining hall, a place of snark and critical thought). For many, it's a tool to describe how they would act as a member. Here's mine.


Dearest Twin Oaks,

I’ve had a glorious time. It’s been an incredible privilege to visit here, and I feel blessed by the connections I’ve made.

MEMBERSHIP (Not quite yet.)
As I’m not applying for membership, I feel compelled to explain why. Primarily, I’m not ready. I have many commitments and relationships in the mainstream world that I must maintain. I have partners and friends whom I love… who live far from here. Membership at Twin Oaks would mute those bonds.

Living within a Community is deeply exciting to me – I’m one of the Oberlin people who think all meals should be cooked for a hundred people. However, the insularity at Twin Oaks is not one I resonate with. It seems very difficult to build outside friendships while living on the farm. While I respect that choice, I think it would dampen my ability to have a sense of scope or context.

WORK (I like it.)
As a visitor, my work made a deep impression… into my clothes.

Items that have stained my pants: mud, dirt, gravel, sawdust, ironweed, confusion, soap, broccoli, caterpillars that used to be in the broccoli, okara, mildew, sweat, ashes, canola oil, gratitude, fine Virginia red clay, and leaves.

I enjoyed the culture of work here, and the labor system is one I took a lot of enjoyment from. I love social jobs in which I learn, and was able to do many of them here. I deeply enjoyed all of the orientations, and felt grateful for the time put into them. I will try to pass on this information as best I can.

SOCIAL NORMS (Wildly ambivalent.)
To be frank, I don’t jive well with many of the social norms. I’m loud, extroverted, and demonstrative, and lived in small town Ohio for 5 years. I’m used to very different levels of friendliness. I’ve been socialized to greet everyone I meet, regardless of how many times I’ve seen them that day, or what particular social issues might exist between us. It’s always a pleasure to see them and know them. I’ve lived in communities with as much emotional intimacy and relationship shenanigans as Twin Oaks… in which there’s much more visible warmth.

That said, I feel genuine adoration for nearly everyone here.

GENERALLY (I love it.)
In my brief time here, Twin Oaks fostered a sense of gratitude in me. Twin Oaks inspires me to be more honest, both with others and myself. I learned a tremendous amount from any member who felt comfortable speaking with me, and truly value the connections I’ve made here.

I don’t think this is my last time here, as this is a lifestyle I find honorable. I felt truly grateful to spend Thanksgiving here, and would be excited to return.


CONTACT
If you’re so inclined, I’ll be in DC in January, then Cleveland in February and onwards. If you find yourself floating towards northeast Ohio, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line. I love hosting others and would love to pass the generosity I’ve encountered here onwards.

Thank you for your kindness.

Love,
Aries