Twin Oaks Exit Letter

After your stay at Twin Oaks, visitors post an Exit Letter to the O+I board (a message board in the dining hall, a place of snark and critical thought). For many, it's a tool to describe how they would act as a member. Here's mine.


Dearest Twin Oaks,

I’ve had a glorious time. It’s been an incredible privilege to visit here, and I feel blessed by the connections I’ve made.

MEMBERSHIP (Not quite yet.)
As I’m not applying for membership, I feel compelled to explain why. Primarily, I’m not ready. I have many commitments and relationships in the mainstream world that I must maintain. I have partners and friends whom I love… who live far from here. Membership at Twin Oaks would mute those bonds.

Living within a Community is deeply exciting to me – I’m one of the Oberlin people who think all meals should be cooked for a hundred people. However, the insularity at Twin Oaks is not one I resonate with. It seems very difficult to build outside friendships while living on the farm. While I respect that choice, I think it would dampen my ability to have a sense of scope or context.

WORK (I like it.)
As a visitor, my work made a deep impression… into my clothes.

Items that have stained my pants: mud, dirt, gravel, sawdust, ironweed, confusion, soap, broccoli, caterpillars that used to be in the broccoli, okara, mildew, sweat, ashes, canola oil, gratitude, fine Virginia red clay, and leaves.

I enjoyed the culture of work here, and the labor system is one I took a lot of enjoyment from. I love social jobs in which I learn, and was able to do many of them here. I deeply enjoyed all of the orientations, and felt grateful for the time put into them. I will try to pass on this information as best I can.

SOCIAL NORMS (Wildly ambivalent.)
To be frank, I don’t jive well with many of the social norms. I’m loud, extroverted, and demonstrative, and lived in small town Ohio for 5 years. I’m used to very different levels of friendliness. I’ve been socialized to greet everyone I meet, regardless of how many times I’ve seen them that day, or what particular social issues might exist between us. It’s always a pleasure to see them and know them. I’ve lived in communities with as much emotional intimacy and relationship shenanigans as Twin Oaks… in which there’s much more visible warmth.

That said, I feel genuine adoration for nearly everyone here.

GENERALLY (I love it.)
In my brief time here, Twin Oaks fostered a sense of gratitude in me. Twin Oaks inspires me to be more honest, both with others and myself. I learned a tremendous amount from any member who felt comfortable speaking with me, and truly value the connections I’ve made here.

I don’t think this is my last time here, as this is a lifestyle I find honorable. I felt truly grateful to spend Thanksgiving here, and would be excited to return.


CONTACT
If you’re so inclined, I’ll be in DC in January, then Cleveland in February and onwards. If you find yourself floating towards northeast Ohio, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line. I love hosting others and would love to pass the generosity I’ve encountered here onwards.

Thank you for your kindness.

Love,
Aries